As I listened to what she was saying, I sensed that she may have been focused on trying to get to a result (only talk to men she would be interested in dating), instead of enjoying the exploration of the exchange with the random men, even women, she met.
I asked her, “Have you ever considered approaching an encounter with the eyes and ears of a curious dancer? When you go out dancing, you can’t control your partner’s steps but you can control your contribution to the dance. This allows for spontaneous creation between 2 people who are sharing a common space, who might be interpreting music in a completely different manner… and that’s okay. By simply being curious about how they move, what they bring to the dance, without focusing on any result or outcome. Staying open to what might be discovered and ultimately created becomes the only relevant outcome when dancing in partnership.”
This statement made her realize how she needed to change her intention with going out and meeting new people. Sometimes the pressure to have an outcome, can prevent you from enjoying the multifaceted human being that is sharing a space with you.
Curious people have an ongoing, intrinsic interest in both their inner experience and the world around them. Curious people tend to be attracted to new people, new things and new experiences, and they are rarely bored.
Then I told her one more benefit to being a curious person at every restaurant/bar/coffee shop she goes to. And that is, LIKABILITY.
What you give, you get. People don’t practice this enough. We constantly wait for someone to be a certain way before we decide to be like that.
Curiosity is about being ready whenever. It’s the way you interact with people and the way it serves you every single day. The reality is, you never really know when you will need it because sometimes you might be sitting next to someone who can be a potential love of your life, a business opportunity, a creative partner, a friend, etc…
Some of the most significant things that have happened to me were not always planned or prepared.
Consistently be ready and lead with CURIOSITY.