Are you uncomfortable and nervous about the idea of flirting with a man? Do you feel blocked even rigid with fear when you’re in the presence of a man, fear that you might get rejected by him?
You may not be aware that your non-verbal is telling a man that you are unapproachable. He feels whether or not you are open to having a conversation that will flow with ease or whether it will be awkward. And this decision is made within seconds of seeing you.
I know it’s not fair but we are ALL guilty of the same thing…judging people by their cover. Once you know that it’s not a personal thing but an automatic impulse that is almost out of our control…then you get the courage to step up and become visible!
I remember feeling like the nerd in school…involved in every social activity but never had a boyfriend. And once my divorce happened, I found myself in the same predicament…I had to go back out in the dating scene and get over my fears all over again. I was surprised at how insecure I felt…the courage I lacked.
The one thing that got me back in the game was my body language! And not just any kind of body language but the kind where I consciously flirted!
I wanted to be that charismatic woman that everyone noticed. I spent years being in the background with my husband that it was time for me to shine. So first I looked up the meaning of flirting. Here is what I found…
“Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intention; act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet”
And when I asked men how they felt about women flirting…they unanimously agreed that it IS a necessary skill in looking attractive. They actually felt like it was a compliment towards them!
So flirting really means taking an interest in someone…being curious about what motivates a man in a playful way. And when you set that intension, then every body language technique you do is coming from a kind place where it doesn’t feel like an interrogation.
Men don’t remember as much the words you use but how they feel being around you. And when a man feels masculine and that every time he sees you, your body moves like oil…no tension, no stiffness…just flow.
So how do you make this flow of your body language happen?
In any conversation with a man, it’s important to lean back in your stance or in your chair. This action makes you naturally relax into the conversation. Leaning back takes away all tension in the body, where every move or transition will feel like oil (nothing harsh…you melt into every body position or self-touch).
I learned this technique from my coach Rori Raye. It allowed me to go a level deeper in listening. It feels vulnerable but freeing at the same time. You take down your guard while listening so that to remain compassionate.
A woman that regularly touches herself gives the impression to a man that she is comfortable in her body…she loves how her body feels. So caress your neck, your arm, your hair…anything that will make you relax into listening and being in his presence while enjoying yourself.
Within seconds of doing these flirting techniques, men would smile, move in towards me and feel the ease of being in my presence.
You have nothing to loose by trying these body language techniques. Flirting will become something natural…like it’s a part of you and in turn make you more charismatic!