Start with your smile
By Patty |
As we talked about before the art of seduction is an art that you will be able to dominate with the repetition of some exercises. Repetition is the mother of skill. And that’s exactly what you need to do.
Start with something simple…like your smile. Stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at how your smile can either look good or look bad.
Your smile has the capacity to change a person’s mood instantly. It is warm, soothing and bright.
So…go in front of a mirror right now!
Take a good look at your features. You need to notice what you like about your face. We are all unique…every freckle, wrinkle and blemish is YOU.
Now you are ready to exercise your smile…let’s begin.
Step 1: Smile without showing teeth.
How tight do your muscles feel? Notice if your eyes are involved. How high do your cheek bones rise? How tight are your lips? And finally, do you like what you see?
Step 2: Smile while showing some teeth.
Go through the same check list.
Step 3: Think of a happy thought while trying both smiles again.
You always need to be aware of your intention behind every action you make. It becomes more convincing and more genuine.
Taking this action may seem small and insignificant, yet I believe that lasting change needs to feel easy and feasible…the tough part is making it consistent.
To create change takes effort. My divorce was a huge wake-up call for me to make changes in my life. What will be your wake-up call?
Body language is one vehicle that can help shape your destiny. To portray a mature, confident woman, you need a certain body confidence that is demonstrated through your movement…your walk, your eyes, your poise.
Here’s an example of a woman that understood the power of that behavior…beautiful!
>>>A reader’s email.
Hi,
I used to live in Las Vegas and at a very young age (under 21) I would go into the casinos and not be bothered. Why? Because you walk like you belong there. You act like you belong there and don’t do anything foolish. Body language says a lot about you and if the Pit Boss isn’t sure you are old enough to be playing 21 and you act young, well then out you go! If you act proud, a little sexy, leave the rest of the players alone, and don’t forget to smile. Drink or don’t drink that’s up to you.
That’s how I played Blackjack in the casinos on the Strip in Las Vegas at the tender age of 19. Don’t think it works now but it comes down to being proud of who you are, using your body language correctly. It got me lots of dates and a husband who I have been married to going on 23 years.
Love your messages! Keep them coming!
Kim
>>>My response:
Here is a woman that gets it…AMEN SISTER!
So the next time you brush your teeth and put on your make up…take a moment to stop and look at yourself. Try the different smiles. You need to be convinced that you own your smile, so that when the opportunity presents itself…voila!
Now it’s your turn.
All you have to do is be willing to open your mind to the idea that your self-indulgence is worth taking the time for.
Yours sincerely,
Patty
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By Patty |
Have you ever felt awkward trying to seduce a man? You go to approach a man only to trip on a step? Or you go to touch a man’s arm only to accidentally touch his plate of food!
Sometimes, the art of seduction doesn’t seem to come naturally and we think it’s time to just give up and let the women who are seemingly natural born seductresses take the lead…
Seriously? I have much more faith in you than that. I KNOW all women have it in them to be sensual.
I recently received a question from a reader. I am sharing it with you because it comes up a lot in many seminars I speak at.
>>>Question from a reader.
Hi Patty,
I want to know how a woman would be able to improve upon the art of seduction through body language when it’s not a natural talent of hers? How may it become like “a second skin” instead of coming off rehearsed and unnatural?
Regards,
Cynthia
>>>My response.
This is a great question. Many women feel the same way. In fact, lots of women think that sensuality came natural to me. Somehow they believe that I was born with it being of Italian origin and living in a French city and all.
All of this is true. I am living in a liberal society and surrounded by many flagrant women that love their bodies.
But I was definitely not born with the same outlook.
As a young woman, I was always considered the nerd in school. I got the good grades, always helped the teachers when they needed it and joined many clubs…yes, even the Trivial Pursuit Club…although my membership didn’t last long…this was only for the true nerds, not “a wanna-be” like myself.
During my last year of high school, I was voted the school clown. Not the queen, not even the duchess…the CLOWN!
I hope you have a clearer picture on how I did NOT ooze sensuality at a young age.
So what is the secret to improving sensuality? The secret is….PRACTICE!
Is this too simple of an answer?
Even when I started in the ballroom dancing business, I could not look people in the eyes when I taught them. I felt like I was exposing my inner truth…my insecurities.
In the beginning, everything felt choreographed and corny even artificial. However, in pushing through these awkward feelings I was able to tap into my true essence. The essence that understands that my physical senses, emotional senses and spirit are all different, yet all connected.
It takes much practice to stand in your power. It takes a lot of practice to acknowledge your truth.
So let me impress upon you how I had to fake it on many, many, many occasions. I had to pretend to be a champion on the dance floor when the judges were dissecting my dancing abilities…and I *became* one.
So, now it is time for you to begin practicing. As I said before I have faith in you.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
As I promised before I will tell you more about my idea of “making love to yourself”.
The way you treat yourself is the way a man or other people will treat you. You have the power to either attract the type of relationships that will enhance your sensual spirit or weaken your feminine essence. Which one do you want?
Allow me to share how I let go and indulged in my sensuality.
I had a party in my home where I invited friends that were open and fun. The theme was “Think with the senses…Feel with the mind”. All the guests had to wear silk pajamas. I wanted them to feel the sensation of a beautiful fabric against their skin. We sat on pillows and ate with our hands. I wanted everyone licking their fingers with delight at the taste of good food. The guests had to participate in painting a common canvas where each person had to build upon the idea of sensuality. I then proceeded to blind fold everyone help them listen and dance to the music in whatever manner they wanted without feeling self conscious. By the end of the evening…there was a magical feeling of freedom.
In short, we all have the potential to create what we want. The key is knowing what we truly want.
I have vowed to be “full of myself”…to “make love to myself”…to “embrace myself”…and to create precious moments where I can indulge, guilt free in my body, mind and spirit. I’ve come to realize that these moments of freedom give me strength to move forward.
Will you join me?
Sensually yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
This past year has been particularly wonderful for me as I was lucky to spend many days entertaining people that are most special to me…it was my way to express love and appreciation towards them.
I got into my body, my mind and spirit even more than usual. I allowed each encounter to be a full body experience. I mean this in more of a sensual manner rather than sexual.
I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck I’m trying to say!
Well let’s start with a question:
What does sensuality mean to you?
If we want to define the word sensuality, it is described in the dictionary as “the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite”.
Are we always willing and open to let go and allow such enjoyment?
We often spend the day thinking, evaluating even scrutinizing everything and everyone around us. There are times when this is necessary and there are times to shut it off and just letting yourself FEEL. However, the task of shutting it off is not so easy because guilt often accompanies such thoughts.
Let’s look at the meaning of guilt…”having committed a breach of conduct; violating law and involving a penalty”. Oooh…sounds severe doesn’t it?
As a woman, I’ve often struggled with the feeling of guilt…what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior? As a ballroom dancer, I’ve also struggled with what looks vulgar or what looks apprehensive when I dance. As a business woman, I’ve often felt guilty when I’m not working overtime on a project. To intensify matters, my strict Italian upbringing trained me to follow the rules…because guilt was always lurking.
I can accept that certain rules are meant for our safety and well-being…however, many of us tend to get too caught up in them, consequently inhibiting ourselves from discovering who we really are.
Well, all I can say is taking chances, making mistakes and appreciating life lessons unquestionably get me closer to being in touch with who I am and yearn to be. As a result, I have become less judgmental with myself by allowing compassion towards my behavior and make room to grow…sensually.
I have a new-found respect for sensuality. The only way I can indulge is being in the present moment…and those moments can last as long or as short as I need them to be. What I have uncovered for myself is a fresh outlook and renewed drive to pursue my purpose.
Can sensuality be the ultimate experience of giving to yourself, with no expectations except the sheer expression of what you feel at that particular moment? And in turn, have a renewed sense of being?
We need to learn how to put ourselves in an environment where we feel safe to let go and allow expression to flow through us. I realize that’s not easy to do. I have discovered taking charge and creating the conditions I need has guided me to cultivate more of what I long for.
I call it “making love to yourself”.
Let´s take a further look at this concept in my next post. I invite you to read it.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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