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Masquerade
By Patty |
One week after the workshop I was off to New Orleans to judge a ballroom dance competition. It was an exciting 4 days because it was the biggest competition I have ever judged with over 8000 entries.
Before my working day began I had a few hours to visit New Orleans so I went to the infamous French Quarter. As I walked along Bourbon Street I was fascinated by the architecture. Cast iron, lacy balconies suspended over the street made them a great place for people watching. One can see and feel this was a rich city long ago. In fact this multi-cultural city was founded by a french Canadian by the name of Jean-Baptist Le Moyne de Blainville in 1718. It became a principle port city that played a major role during the slave trade (2/3 of the more than 1 million slaves were brought to New Orleans).
After about 3 blocks, I veered towards Royal Street. It was much more to my liking. There were art galleries, vintage boutiques, musicians in the street even a voodoo shop. As I went from 1 shop to the next I was drawn to the elaborate displays of masks…a reminisce of Mardi Gras. As I examined the feathered outfits, disguises and observed the videos of Mardi Gras celebrations, I marveled at the transformations people were going through once they were masked. 
How is it that a masquerade can have this kind of an effect on someone?
There is a liberating feeling when one can hide behind a “persona”. Masks hold tremendous power and mystery both for the wearers and the audience. A new face and different attire allowed them to transcend their every day lives and construct a new self. This thought pondered my mind the entire 4 days of the dance competition. I realized how ballroom dancing is a form of masking by wearing elaborate costumes and heavy make up in order to play a more believable role. Even as a judge choosing my outfits specifically to represent the image which was expected from the public.
When it came time for me to judge the professionals, I felt an immense sense of responsibility to watch attentively in order adjudicate as fairly as possible. Luckily 10 other judges were present to make this process easier.
The top and bottom couples were the most apparent to spot…the difficult decision was with all the in between couples. I remember hearing my inner voice pleading with them to “Play the role of the outfit you’re wearing with grace, poise and conviction”. And I immediately realized that those in between couples lacked the confidence that can be seen through consistent eye contact. The confident couples commanded the attention of the judges and the audience by demanding eye contact. They were fearless with their eyes…willing to draw me into their passion, their excitement and their intimacy. 
I had an “aha” moment…what makes us so uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact?
On my trip back home, I paid attention to the crowds of people in the airport. Almost everyone was in a race to get to their destination (understandably so) and those who wandered around never really looked at anyone for more than 3 seconds…including me.
Which brings me to the art of attraction. How can we be noticed without extended eye contact?
We’ve all heard the term that eyes are the gateway to our soul. Is this what we are afraid to show…our truth…our vulnerability?
For me, eye contact is the finishing touch, the call to action! It’s a highly emotional link that is established as 2 people simultaneously observe each other arousing strong emotions. So we can’t avoid it because doing so would close us off to feelings.
So when it comes to the art of seduction…our eyes are like high beams that need to shine on a man to let him know it’s a good time to approach us.
When I was doing research for my book, I asked several men about eye contact. They all confirmed that it is THE deciding factor to go for the approach. Some men actually stated they needed to have a minimum of 3 prolonged looks before making their move.
So how can we begin to feel comfortable with this notion?
By practicing daily with anyone you encounter. The next time you are ordering coffee, make a conscious effort to have a prolonged, inviting look even if it’s with the same sex. Smile with your eyes as you speak and listen. Doing this on a daily basis, in mundane scenarios will create a habit…a good habit that will kick in when necessary.
For those of you who are in a relationship, the next time you are having dinner together, take in your partner’s entire face by slowly looking at his eyes, his nose, his cheek bones, his jawline and end with his mouth. He’ll feel what your doing…just be prepared for the consequence 
This may seem simple, but let remind you that I witness professional latin dancers struggling with the same exercise. Knowing information in your mind is one thing…experiencing it through your body is the essential thing.
Allow your eyes to allure a man…they won’t know what hit them.
Sensually yours,
Patty
Topics: Good Times, Sensual, Travel & Adventure | No Comments »