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Enrich your inner strength – Focus on your assets
By Patty |
In my last post I began telling you about the importance of our personal truth.
One week ago I was at a happy hour in an elegant restaurant with 2 girlfriends of mine. We had planned this night out so we were dressed to impress. When we walked into this place, we felt like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda from Sex and the City making their usual entrance into a bar.
We succeeded in getting some heads to turn…I actually coached them how to walk before we went in. Next step was to encourage men to approach us. We set up a kind of semi circle towards the crowd. With our drink in hand, we chatted about nonsense…you know, the kind of deep and enriching conversation about hair, make up and clothes that we women can easily get into!
As the evening progressed, some men began to approach, but only after we “OK’d” them with our combination of prolonged eye contact and smiles. Something interesting began to happen; the men were conversing with my girlfriend Chantal and I and rarely acknowledged Maria.
What was going on here? Well, upon closer observation, I noticed what Maria was doing. Every time a man approached us, she instantly put her purse and her drink in front of her chest like a barrier.
I hope you can visualize what that looks like. NOT GOOD!
At the end of the evening, I had to ask her if she realized what she was doing. To her surprise, she didn’t have a clue. Through probing, she then realized why she always did this. She admitted to being very subconscious about her chest. She was never comfortable with the size of her breasts…understand that my friend Maria has a generous size.
You would think that with an abundant chest size she’d have many men approach her, however the reverse happened that night because her insecurity came out loud and clear through her body language.
Your physical body is a piece of the portrait, but your awareness of your body and its potential to express who you are and your inner strength as a woman is the key.
So how do you enrich your inner strength?
You need to focus on your assets.
Start by looking at how you present yourself. First impressions and lasting impressions need to go hand in hand.
Here are 3 areas you need to keep in check.
1. Appearance – this involves more than your face and figure.
It’s your tone of voice, your accent; it’s how you carry yourself when sitting, standing or dancing. Even how you touch a man speaks volumes about your issues with intimacy.
2. Presence, your energy, spirit, – all those qualities that help you bond with people.
When having a conversation with someone, be sure to maintain solid eye contact that is sincere and welcoming.
In a public place, do you just show up, or do you arrive prepared with a plan of action? Do you mingle with people and include them into your conversation by asking them questions? Do you stand up straight and go through some sensual stances in the center of the room, instead of up against the wall? Do you smile and use eye contact to invite people to approach you?
3. Personality – this is what makes you YOU!
It is your authentic self, the part of you that makes you different from all the rest. It’s about having an opinion and being genuine. Love everything about you…your age, your heritage, your taste in food, your work, your hobbies…EVERYTHING!
So can you see how balancing all 3 areas can make you more complete and confident–the kind of confidence that people are attracted to. The kind of confidence that makes you radiate from the inside out and outside in.
You must realize that to become this type of woman takes daily practice. It’s an investment in yourself that you cannot ignore. You are worth the time to become the type of woman that everyone gravitates to.
Every moment of every day is the choice to create the lifestyle you want. And the key to achieving the sensuality you seek is…PREPARATION!
Take 60 seconds before going to bed, before leaving your home, before arriving at your destination, before meeting someone, even before picking up your kids, to visualize how all the areas (appearance, presence and personality) will come together harmoniously.
Now, this is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.
All of these concepts are great, but you need the tools to help you learn, grow and stay connected with anyone you meet.
Sincerelly yours,
Patty
Topics: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
6 Responses to “Enrich your inner strength – Focus on your assets”
Comments
« Seduce the man you want – The importance of your personal truth | Home
October 7th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I just discovered you through youtube. I love that you teach women to be sexy and sensual but not trashy. I think it is a power that all women poses but we just don’t know exactly how to go about doing it. But now I get it thanks to you!
March 7th, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Hi Patty,
I find your videos highly engaging and valuable. I would like to promote your product. Do you have an affiliate program? If so, please send me an email?
Thanks
Kajay
June 13th, 2011 at 5:48 pm
I read and ENJOYED your thoghts.. i love to be sensual and appreciated for it..
July 30th, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Patty, I loved this post & needed it. I’m 46 and am 14 months out of an abusive marriage. Recently, though, I’ve been getting back to “myself” and realizing my own attractiveness and strengths — things my abusive husband tried to quash.
One thing I realized is that when I’m in a room with 20-something hotties, it would be easy to focus on them and how men sort of gravitate to them. Then I realized, age is a state of mind. I can be happy, smiling, sensual, available … and men who are interested in my “Mrs. Robinson” sexiness gravitate. I don’t try to compete with young things. I’m just myself. And therefore, I’m confident that the right kind of guy will notice that. Anyone else who doesn’t, well, they’re not worth my time.
Being in an abusive marriage taught me this important thing: Love yourself first. Once you do that, you can walk into a room with that confidence and not care who is watching. And that’s the point at which they all do.
January 9th, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Apparently many men are so afraid of being rejected that no matter how sexy we look, or how flirtatous we act, they are afraid to approach us. Is there anything we can do about that without appearing to be ‘easy’ or cheap?
January 9th, 2012 at 6:51 pm
Hi KathE! You are correct, some men are afraid of being rejected. The thought of approaching a woman where she might ignore him or brush him off can make him nervous about making the first move. I really believe eye contact and smiling is huge in this type of scenario. Be sure to look at him long enough to say in your mind “I see you, do you see me?”. And you may need to do this a few times. Once he does look your way, a smile is a must…the kind of sweet smile that approves of his glance. Finally, if he’s near you, you can make a comment on his attire, the weather, the coffee your drinking, the store you’re browsing through…and see how he responds. I do prefer to allow a man to make the first move (hence create an inviting environment to make his approach welcoming), but there may be times when he’ll need a helping hand.