Making love to yourself
By Patty |
As I promised before I will tell you more about my idea of “making love to yourself”.
The way you treat yourself is the way a man or other people will treat you. You have the power to either attract the type of relationships that will enhance your sensual spirit or weaken your feminine essence. Which one do you want?
Allow me to share how I let go and indulged in my sensuality.
I had a party in my home where I invited friends that were open and fun. The theme was “Think with the senses…Feel with the mind”. All the guests had to wear silk pajamas. I wanted them to feel the sensation of a beautiful fabric against their skin. We sat on pillows and ate with our hands. I wanted everyone licking their fingers with delight at the taste of good food. The guests had to participate in painting a common canvas where each person had to build upon the idea of sensuality. I then proceeded to blind fold everyone help them listen and dance to the music in whatever manner they wanted without feeling self conscious. By the end of the evening…there was a magical feeling of freedom.
In short, we all have the potential to create what we want. The key is knowing what we truly want.
I have vowed to be “full of myself”…to “make love to myself”…to “embrace myself”…and to create precious moments where I can indulge, guilt free in my body, mind and spirit. I’ve come to realize that these moments of freedom give me strength to move forward.
Will you join me?
Sensually yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
This past year has been particularly wonderful for me as I was lucky to spend many days entertaining people that are most special to me…it was my way to express love and appreciation towards them.
I got into my body, my mind and spirit even more than usual. I allowed each encounter to be a full body experience. I mean this in more of a sensual manner rather than sexual.
I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck I’m trying to say!
Well let’s start with a question:
What does sensuality mean to you?
If we want to define the word sensuality, it is described in the dictionary as “the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite”.
Are we always willing and open to let go and allow such enjoyment?
We often spend the day thinking, evaluating even scrutinizing everything and everyone around us. There are times when this is necessary and there are times to shut it off and just letting yourself FEEL. However, the task of shutting it off is not so easy because guilt often accompanies such thoughts.
Let’s look at the meaning of guilt…”having committed a breach of conduct; violating law and involving a penalty”. Oooh…sounds severe doesn’t it?
As a woman, I’ve often struggled with the feeling of guilt…what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior? As a ballroom dancer, I’ve also struggled with what looks vulgar or what looks apprehensive when I dance. As a business woman, I’ve often felt guilty when I’m not working overtime on a project. To intensify matters, my strict Italian upbringing trained me to follow the rules…because guilt was always lurking.
I can accept that certain rules are meant for our safety and well-being…however, many of us tend to get too caught up in them, consequently inhibiting ourselves from discovering who we really are.
Well, all I can say is taking chances, making mistakes and appreciating life lessons unquestionably get me closer to being in touch with who I am and yearn to be. As a result, I have become less judgmental with myself by allowing compassion towards my behavior and make room to grow…sensually.
I have a new-found respect for sensuality. The only way I can indulge is being in the present moment…and those moments can last as long or as short as I need them to be. What I have uncovered for myself is a fresh outlook and renewed drive to pursue my purpose.
Can sensuality be the ultimate experience of giving to yourself, with no expectations except the sheer expression of what you feel at that particular moment? And in turn, have a renewed sense of being?
We need to learn how to put ourselves in an environment where we feel safe to let go and allow expression to flow through us. I realize that’s not easy to do. I have discovered taking charge and creating the conditions I need has guided me to cultivate more of what I long for.
I call it “making love to yourself”.
Let´s take a further look at this concept in my next post. I invite you to read it.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
In my previous post I told you about a new theory to know if I was facing the right man for me. But as I discovered the people I enjoyed spending time with, I also realized that my expressions were sending messages without saying a word.
All of this make sense to me because I’ve recited these techniques many times in my career.
In ballroom dancing, I had to practice eye contact and facial expressions. I had to be clear with where I was looking and for how long because the combination of both elements created different outcomes.
There were moments in my dancing career where I needed to look dominant, engaged, arrogant, energetic, seductive or perhaps even sad.
The physical difference was subtle, however combining the right eye contact with proper intention created the necessary outcome.
Do you think about the image you are portraying?
Are you conscious of the messages you are sending?
The next time you are having a conversation with someone, pay attention to how you listen.
Are you using your eyes to watch, learn and understand?
Are you nodding and smiling to demonstrate consideration?
I know this sounds rehearsed, but none of this works without genuine intention.
As you watch for this in others and pay attention to yourself, you will gain knowledge that will heighten your intuition.
You will begin to recognize if what you are feeling is truthful or not.
To become aware of your own body language, you need to be in tune with the present and start paying attention to what others are doing.
So, for today, start looking out for eye contact and facial expressions from those around you. What do you like and dislike in what you are seeing?
It’s time to understand how your body language can affect the way others view you.
Yours sincerelly,
Patty
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By Patty |
Have you gone on countless dates with one man (or several men!) and been left to wonder why, after all the time you have invested, you can’t seem to find “the one”?
You probably put pressure on yourself to find that man. Every time you go out you’re looking around, “just in case”.
Instead of finding that perfect man, you’re finding a lot of duds. The frustration of it all seems endless…
It’s important to not feel pressured, and also to not let HIM feel the pressure. If you can learn to love yourself first (and show it), you will become that sensuous woman that men are drawn to naturally, rather than forcefully.
Have you ever talked to a family member about what you should do in your love-life? Well, I have…but only on rare occasions. However, this particular occasion turned out to be quite fruitful.
My mom and I were on the telephone and somehow the topic of relationships came up. So, I dug deeper and I wanted to hear how my mom felt about my dad (since their 50 year anniversary was coming soon). I must say, listening to her speak was rather humbling. Every belief she had was quite simple and sound.
I then asked “the” question: “How did you know he was the one?”
As the conversation became more detailed, she instinctively slowed down and changed her tone of voice and I knew I needed to pay close attention.
Her statement was “The eyes and face are the mirror to one’s soul.”
Wow…that was deep!
She went to describe how a person’s integrity can be seen on their face.
When I got off the phone, I stood in front of a mirror and began to examine my face – every freckle and every wrinkle. I looked into my eyes and noticed the size of my pupils and which eye was more dominant.
As I was observing myself, I thought…can I fake integrity? Can I hide what I’m feeling inside?
Every day we are placed in situations where, to be certain of who we are and what we stand for, we must act with integrity.
So I decided to test this theory put forth by my mom.
With every encounter I had, I began to watch for eye contact and facial expressions.
Here’s what I realized about the people I enjoyed spending time with:
1. They have good eye contact; the kind where their eyes are not darting around
2. They know how to smile; the kind of smile that is sincere and can light up a room
3. They are congruent; their expressions and body language are in line with their words.
Now, of course these are not the only traits they have, however these stand out.
Next time I will give you some tips to understand the way you listen.
Yours sincerely,
Patty
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