Enrich your inner strength – Focus on your assets
By Patty |
In my last post I began telling you about the importance of our personal truth.
One week ago I was at a happy hour in an elegant restaurant with 2 girlfriends of mine. We had planned this night out so we were dressed to impress. When we walked into this place, we felt like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda from Sex and the City making their usual entrance into a bar.
We succeeded in getting some heads to turn…I actually coached them how to walk before we went in. Next step was to encourage men to approach us. We set up a kind of semi circle towards the crowd. With our drink in hand, we chatted about nonsense…you know, the kind of deep and enriching conversation about hair, make up and clothes that we women can easily get into!
As the evening progressed, some men began to approach, but only after we “OK’d” them with our combination of prolonged eye contact and smiles. Something interesting began to happen; the men were conversing with my girlfriend Chantal and I and rarely acknowledged Maria.
What was going on here? Well, upon closer observation, I noticed what Maria was doing. Every time a man approached us, she instantly put her purse and her drink in front of her chest like a barrier.
I hope you can visualize what that looks like. NOT GOOD!
At the end of the evening, I had to ask her if she realized what she was doing. To her surprise, she didn’t have a clue. Through probing, she then realized why she always did this. She admitted to being very subconscious about her chest. She was never comfortable with the size of her breasts…understand that my friend Maria has a generous size.
You would think that with an abundant chest size she’d have many men approach her, however the reverse happened that night because her insecurity came out loud and clear through her body language.
Your physical body is a piece of the portrait, but your awareness of your body and its potential to express who you are and your inner strength as a woman is the key.
So how do you enrich your inner strength?
You need to focus on your assets.
Start by looking at how you present yourself. First impressions and lasting impressions need to go hand in hand.
Here are 3 areas you need to keep in check.
1. Appearance – this involves more than your face and figure.
It’s your tone of voice, your accent; it’s how you carry yourself when sitting, standing or dancing. Even how you touch a man speaks volumes about your issues with intimacy.
2. Presence, your energy, spirit, – all those qualities that help you bond with people.
When having a conversation with someone, be sure to maintain solid eye contact that is sincere and welcoming.
In a public place, do you just show up, or do you arrive prepared with a plan of action? Do you mingle with people and include them into your conversation by asking them questions? Do you stand up straight and go through some sensual stances in the center of the room, instead of up against the wall? Do you smile and use eye contact to invite people to approach you?
3. Personality – this is what makes you YOU!
It is your authentic self, the part of you that makes you different from all the rest. It’s about having an opinion and being genuine. Love everything about you…your age, your heritage, your taste in food, your work, your hobbies…EVERYTHING!
So can you see how balancing all 3 areas can make you more complete and confident–the kind of confidence that people are attracted to. The kind of confidence that makes you radiate from the inside out and outside in.
You must realize that to become this type of woman takes daily practice. It’s an investment in yourself that you cannot ignore. You are worth the time to become the type of woman that everyone gravitates to.
Every moment of every day is the choice to create the lifestyle you want. And the key to achieving the sensuality you seek is…PREPARATION!
Take 60 seconds before going to bed, before leaving your home, before arriving at your destination, before meeting someone, even before picking up your kids, to visualize how all the areas (appearance, presence and personality) will come together harmoniously.
Now, this is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.
All of these concepts are great, but you need the tools to help you learn, grow and stay connected with anyone you meet.
Sincerelly yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
Have you ever been in a room where a woman walks in like she owns the place? She may not be the most beautiful or the one showing the most skin, yet there’s something about her that grabs your attention.
The very sight of her makes you feel as small as a pea. It’s almost like any light that may have been shining on you a second ago is now completely enveloping her. All eyes in the room seem to now be enticed by her…
She seems to have a confidence that comes from having figured out the powerful combination of the physical attributes and personality characteristics.
She is at a place where she has defined herself and can now sell it to anyone that comes her way.
I was faced with this reality every time I walked onto a competitive dance floor. As I was lined up with my dance partner, my nerves would be chattering, bringing up those thoughts like “I hope I don’t mess up my turn.” Or “I hope the judges don’t think I’m fat.”
Can you imagine?
But with a few deep breaths and focusing on my partner, I was able to control my thoughts. And the moment the MC called out our number…it was SHOWTIME!
My insecurities just melted away because my body had memorized the movements it needed to feel sensual, powerful and deserving of all the attention.
My body was the tool I used to remind my spirit of the beautiful woman that I am.
How does a woman gain the power to have all eyes on her? Her physical and mental attitude is congruent.
When your personal truth is negative and filled with doubt and distortions, the words you speak may say one thing, but your body language speaks a louder truth that contradicts all you claim to be.
Next time I will tell you something that will picture this.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
Continuing with my previous post I will explain how we can do to do not forget that our feminine energy needs to be nurtured.
I’ve observed you can achieve this by using your feminine energy, body language and compassion to inspire and invite a man to connect with his heart and yours while cherishing the value of your needs, and keeping you aligned with your purpose.
In other words, entice and attract, and keep your needs in the forefront of your mind and chop off his balls with LOVE when he doesn’t act with integrity.
Sounds harsh?
Not really. Understand this isn’t an invitation to nag a man because you will repel him and it’s not an invitation to avoid expressing what you need because he won’t see your worth. It is an invitation to come from a place of compassion (because we are all trying to do our best) and stand up for your values.
So what does all of this have to do with body language and sensuality?
EVERYTHING!
This helped me realize that I am more than just flirting with a man…I’m leading him to his heart. Most men have a difficult time with this…it is not part of the male energy. And what makes a woman attractive is her ability to lead a man to his heart first through her body language and most importantly through her heart.
This has given me a renewed sense of purpose…leading from my feminine energy!
This is why body language and sensuality is extremely important to learn. It taught me how being in my body helps me connect with my feminine energy.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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By Patty |
Have you ever felt confused with all the information being given to you that you find yourself at a standstill fo
r fear of making the wrong move?
Well, I sure have…plenty of times! The day I made a commitment to question my life, was the day I understood the meaning of the word responsibility. I can remember reading so much information on any topic and then feeling hesitant to take a step, afraid to make a decision in case it was the wrong one. I felt like I couldn’t use ignorance as an excuse any longer…exhausting!
Some deep breathing and a couple of smacks across the head (my Italian upbringing came in handy), usually put me back on track. All this… “How do I fix it? How can I avoid this? How can I make it better?…was shutting my feelings down. I was disconnecting with the very part of me that is female…my heart.
So now, I needed to understand why I kept detaching from my feelings. (I know, it sounds like I have a disorder).
During my endeavor, I recognized how to align with my feminine side more deeply.
I’ve spent some time studying male and female energy and comprehending the meaning of each.
Let’s start by defining both…first male energy:
It’s the element where drive, focus, discipline and purpose stems from. It is solution oriented – always looking for the best strategy to accomplish the result needed. Male energy plans, organizes, leads and controls any situation to encourage success.
Now let’s look at female energy:
This energy is sensual, open, a life force and creates space for emotions and feelings to flow. The feminine energy is a state inducer that enjoys revealing the senses. It’s sustained by color, sound, touch, taste, smell and intuition for it longs to feel love through everything and everyone.
Alright…now you have a brief description of both.
Can you see how living in a society where pursuing deadlines and achieving goals has denied our state of “being” and “feeling”? We are so busy planning with our mind that we tend to ignore our senses, our emotions and our bodies. We are walking around almost out of touch!
Luckily, some of us take yoga classes, dance classes and cooking classes. Or we learn how to play an instrument…anything to get back into what our essence needs to feel nourished…loved.
What do I mean by love?
Our body and our heart yearn to be loved. Deep down we want to be seen for who we are, beyond the suits we wear to portray our professional lives.
Underneath each suit, lies a woman…a sensual woman who loves every part of her body, mind and spirit.
She is vulnerable and wants to feel secure enough to surrender to the love of a man without fear that he will be frightened by her demonstration of tears.
We’ve become purpose driven women who can achieve any goal we set, yet may have forgotten that our feminine energy needs to be nurtured.
So, how do we do that? I invite you to read my next post and discover it.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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