Here again... another year has come to an end. You haven't heard from me in awhile because I needed to take some time to pause and listen to resistances, questions and dilemmas that were coming up within me.
One of the best ways I have found for me to develop wisdom is through reflection. While reflecting might look like quiet sessions of daydreaming, it can also be a more active process of reviewing parts of your life through conversations with friends, or perhaps messages that come to you while watching a movie (as it did for me).
I'm sitting at LYFE KITCHEN restaurant in Chicago, finally able to contemplate the Embrace Your Essence live event….so here it is.
I honestly have mixed feelings about the event being over. Everything leading up to creating the event and the actual days of the event had me on an emotional roller coaster ride of excitement, determination, frustration, back to exhilaration, then followed by uncertainty…you name it! Yet, I remained on autopilot, somehow things came together with the help of certain special people who were always available when I needed support.
I’ve been doing some research on the topic of sexuality and desire. And I’m REALLY excited to share some of my findings with everyone that attends my live event in Montreal on Oct 12th -14th. Be sure to check out details below:
As you may have guessed with my past email, I truly enjoyed my vacation in France! And I wanted to take this time to share with you WHY I loved it so much.
I sensed that a big part of it was because it felt like HOME, as in the French culture, French fashion and French language. Even though I am of Italian heritage and went to a primarily English school, I grew up in Montreal, which means a French environment.
While Montreal is not at all St. Remy or Paris, it still feels, as you drive from New York City up north toward the border (which I do monthly), that you're being transported to another continent. More and more signs are in French.
You enter the wilderness, cross over the Canadian border, and soon you're transported to a city unlike anything you've seen in North America.
I was reflecting upon my week in the French Riviera. I went into this trip feeling unprepared, uncertain and I honestly felt like it was the worst time to go on vacation.
I had just finished a day of coaching in North Carolina, rushed off to Raleigh airport with a carry on and backpack NOT truly ready for this adventure. All I could think about was the deadlines for the projects I am working on and what once seemed so far away, was around the corner!
Then a wave of guilt swept over my entire being. I felt selfish for taking time to “play”, instead of choosing to get the work done sooner.
Over the last few months, thoughts of feminism, sexiness and sexual objectification have been infiltrating my mind. When Beyonce performed on stage at the Video Music Awards in 2014 wearing sexy outfits, and so called sexually objectifying herself with bright lights behind her stating “FEMINIST”, the thought “Is this a paradox?” came up for me.
As a woman who delivers messages about how femininity and sensuality can help women feel confident, I was faced with my own paradoxical fears of both wanting to be desired as a beautiful woman who allows herself to turn up her sexual energy (in the right context) and being respected for my heart and mind while running several businesses.
About 2 years ago, I was one of the panelists in the Great Love Debate here in Montreal. I dealt mostly with the topic of being approachable by exuding femininity. And when my colleague, Frank Kermit, spoke about boundaries, the room went silent. It was evident that everyone needed to learn how to navigate in this new era of dating where there’s an abundance of choice. Choice in cell phones, choice in cars and choice in partners.
Understanding the importance of having needs and maintaining my boundaries has probably been my biggest lesson. A lesson that I must admit continues to challenge me the most.
This past week I coached a woman whom I will name “Joan” (in order to respect her privacy). She’s 81 and a Holocaust survivor.
Joan was 5 years old when she was put into a concentration camp with her parents where they remained for 7 years.
During that time, her mom and dad were brutally amputated in the legs, leaving Joan to deal with the harsh reality of taking care of her parents at a young age. From that day forward, Joan sacrificed her independence and her needs for the welfare of her family...
When we were children, the word “no” gave us strength because it established our autonomy. As we got older, the word “no” put fear in our mind because feelings of inadequacy and self-blame were attached to this word.
And for some, the anticipation of rejection is enough to stop us dead in our tracks and never take chances with our career, our social life or with our relationships.
Leading a balanced life is a constant challenge. In order to move through the day-to-day life, a woman will constantly be faced with the decision of what masculine and feminine traits she could best apply at any moment in her life in order to have a better experience.
My career as a traveling dance consultant takes me to many cities across the country. And when coaching men and women to dance together in a harmonious fashion, there’s an intricate exchange both verbally and non-verbally that happens when trying to communicate to each other what they need in order to move in unison.
This is where knowing the difference between assertive and aggressive communication becomes apparent.
In my last email I shared how I needed to adopt a new mindset, which encouraged my curiosity towards dialing up my sexual energy.
This mindset needed to appear in my day-to-day living, not just in the bedroom.
I say this because in order to grasp any new way of being, one needs to gently bring in new concepts in order for the fixed mindset (a.k.a. critical wall/negative voice) to drop its walls and allow for new possibilities to enter your being.
A conscious woman has an inner voice always in search of meaning and purpose. During this quest, she discovers her values regarding career, relationships and spirituality….no different than a conscious man.
This all adds up to a restless craving to realize your potential, which peaks as you approach each decade of your life.Yet the questions shift as the stages progress.