Masquerade
By admin | November 11, 2008
One week after the workshop I was off to New Orleans to judge a ballroom dance competition. It was an exciting 4 days because it was the biggest competition I have ever judged with over 8000 entries.
Before my working day began I had a few hours to visit New Orleans so I went to the infamous French Quarter. As I walked along Bourbon Street I was fascinated by the architecture. Cast iron, lacy balconies suspended over the street made them a great place for people watching. One can see and feel this was a rich city long ago. In fact this multi-cultural city was founded by a french Canadian by the name of Jean-Baptist Le Moyne de Blainville in 1718. It became a principle port city that played a major role during the slave trade (2/3 of the more than 1 million slaves were brought to New Orleans).
After about 3 blocks, I veered towards Royal Street. It was much more to my liking. There were art galleries, vintage boutiques, musicians in the street even a voodoo shop. As I went from 1 shop to the next I was drawn to the elaborate displays of masks…a reminisce of Mardi Gras. As I examined the feathered outfits, disguises and observed the videos of Mardi Gras celebrations, I marveled at the transformations people were going through once they were masked. 
How is it that a masquerade can have this kind of an effect on someone?
There is a liberating feeling when one can hide behind a “persona”. Masks hold tremendous power and mystery both for the wearers and the audience. A new face and different attire allowed them to transcend their every day lives and construct a new self. This thought pondered my mind the entire 4 days of the dance competition. I realized how ballroom dancing is a form of masking by wearing elaborate costumes and heavy make up in order to play a more believable role. Even as a judge choosing my outfits specifically to represent the image which was expected from the public.
When it came time for me to judge the professionals, I felt an immense sense of responsibility to watch attentively in order adjudicate as fairly as possible. Luckily 10 other judges were present to make this process easier.
The top and bottom couples were the most apparent to spot…the difficult decision was with all the in between couples. I remember hearing my inner voice pleading with them to “Play the role of the outfit you’re wearing with grace, poise and conviction”. And I immediately realized that those in between couples lacked the confidence that can be seen through consistent eye contact. The confident couples commanded the attention of the judges and the audience by demanding eye contact. They were fearless with their eyes…willing to draw me into their passion, their excitement and their intimacy. 
I had an “aha” moment…what makes us so uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact?
On my trip back home, I paid attention to the crowds of people in the airport. Almost everyone was in a race to get to their destination (understandably so) and those who wandered around never really looked at anyone for more than 3 seconds…including me.
Which brings me to the art of attraction. How can we be noticed without extended eye contact?
We’ve all heard the term that eyes are the gateway to our soul. Is this what we are afraid to show…our truth…our vulnerability?
For me, eye contact is the finishing touch, the call to action! It’s a highly emotional link that is established as 2 people simultaneously observe each other arousing strong emotions. So we can’t avoid it because doing so would close us off to feelings.
So when it comes to the art of seduction…our eyes are like high beams that need to shine on a man to let him know it’s a good time to approach us.
When I was doing research for my book, I asked several men about eye contact. They all confirmed that it is THE deciding factor to go for the approach. Some men actually stated they needed to have a minimum of 3 prolonged looks before making their move.
So how can we begin to feel comfortable with this notion?
By practicing daily with anyone you encounter. The next time you are ordering coffee, make a conscious effort to have a prolonged, inviting look even if it’s with the same sex. Smile with your eyes as you speak and listen. Doing this on a daily basis, in mundane scenarios will create a habit…a good habit that will kick in when necessary.
For those of you who are in a relationship, the next time you are having dinner together, take in your partner’s entire face by slowly looking at his eyes, his nose, his cheek bones, his jawline and end with his mouth. He’ll feel what your doing…just be prepared for the consequence 
This may seem simple, but let remind you that I witness professional latin dancers struggling with the same exercise. Knowing information in your mind is one thing…experiencing it through your body is the essential thing.
Allow your eyes to allure a man…they won’t know what hit them.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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The Aftermath of the Workshop
By admin | October 22, 2008
Hello friends,
The workshop has come and gone. All the preparations, planning and rehearsing came together this past weekend. 
It started a little rough. The film crew was having regular power outages so we started filming later than anticipated. Luckily there was food to keep the women occupied. My sister and her family prepared sensual finger foods…strawberries dipped in chocolate, melon balls wrapped in prosciutto, grapes, cheese, chocolate truffles, mimosas and more.
There were 50 women of all ages that attended. As I lead them through the moves…it was beautiful to watch. The transformation of a room full of women cultivating their curves. The symphony of sensually shaped women enhancing their feminine essence was a privilege to witness. There’s something that happens when women are gathered together. The energy in the room lifts…it truly does. There’s a lightness, brightness and willingness that can be felt. This openness to want to learn motivates me to inspire them. 
We talked about why we needed to flirt and how to use different body parts to behave tenderly. We considered why it’s better to looked over than to be overlooked. We learned to visually slow down music in order to dance sensually. The guest speakers touched on the psychology of first impressions, making you a priority, conversations with your vagina…talk about a moment of truth…and an erotic dance class.
I saw how women were being stretched past their comfort zones within their minds and their bodies. Their spirits were expanding…bravo! 
I believe being a sensual woman is something that must be felt from the inside out…however I strongly believe that it must be discovered from the outside in. And that’s exactly what we did all day…explored the possibilities for women to allure, entice and attract any man or the one they already have. Because as much as men can appreciate our ability to drive and succeed…they are attracted to our light and sensual being.
The day was filled with laughter, awkward moments, and more laughter…yet the courage that each women demonstrated was remarkable to watch. 
A special thanks is in order to my personal assistant…Nataly. She was so in tune with me, the women and the volunteers to make sure the atmosphere was always harmonious…and it was. It takes a team to create movement and I am grateful for the volunteers, friends, family and guest speakers that helped make this day a success.
And to all the women that participated to the end…thank you for your patience, your courage, your energy and your heart because having had the opportunity to show you how body language can empower you and give you the gift of feminine energy fueled my purpose. I am deeply grateful. 
So stay tuned ladies…the time will come when the Sensuality Secrets Kit will be ready!
In the meantime consider my ebook…it’s a fun and easy read with pictures that demonstrate every move.
Sensually yours,
Patty
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Steamy Diva Detox Bath
By admin | October 16, 2008
By Tracy Neely, In-House Esthetician for The Raw Divas.
A detox bath can be a great way to rid your body of unhealthy toxins. This type of bath is also a great way to clean your body from the inside out. When the body goes through a detox, there is a natural progression that occurs whenever the body begins to expel and eliminate toxins. While the hot water draws the toxins to the surface of the skin, the Epsom salts produce sweating which help rid the body of the toxins.
Sea Salts
Sea salts are an effective treatment that soothes the skin, helps relieve joint and muscle pain, aids in the elimination of toxins and helps replenish the body with essential minerals.
Juniper Berry Essential Oil
Juniper Berry Essential Oil (Juniperus communis) also known as Common Juniper is steamed-distilled from the crushed, dried or partly dried ripe berries. The best juniper berries are collected in northern Italy, Austria, Czech Republic, Hungary, Croatia, Serbia and France. This oil is well known for its diuretic and lymphatic decongestant properties. It is recommended for clearing toxins and reducing the level of uric acid in the body.
Baking Soda
Baking soda is an acid neutralizer and also added to bathwater has a softening effect on the skin.
Epsom Salt
Epsom Salt also known as magnesium sulfate is absorbed through the skin, as in a bath, it and draws toxins from the body, sedates the nervous system, reduces swelling, relaxes muscles and is a natural emollient.
Lemon Essential Oil
Lemon Essential Oil (Citrus limon) is obtained from the peel of lemons by cold expression. Cold-pressing will yield six to seven pounds of oil from one ton of fresh fruit. Following extraction, different batches of cold-pressed California lemon oils are often blended together to produce a more consistent aroma profile, while lemon oils from Italy usually come as individual, small lots from different producers. Italian oils typically have a wider, more inconsistent range of aromatic qualities. Lemon oil can be used as a mild detoxifier and is recommended to clear heat and dampness from the body.
Recipe
- 1 cup sea salt (fine)
- 2 drops juniper berry essential oil
- 1 cups baking soda
- 1 cup Epsom salt
- 3 drops lemon essential oil
Combine sea salt, baking soda and Epsom salt together and slowly add to warm running bath water. Add juniper berry essential oil and lemon essential oil to warm bath water and soak in the tub for no more than 15 to 20 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tracy
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An Evening of Pleasure and Harmless Fun
By admin | October 6, 2008
Hello, all!
I thought I’d share my recent evening of indulging in sensual food, liquids and atmosphere. Last weekend I was in New York City for a day of tango dancing, shopping and dining delicacies.
This was the first time I danced Argentine Tango in months and ooh what a welcomed return I had! My instructor was a handsome, charming and seductive Argentinian man by the name of Walter Perez. My dear friend Kevin and I took a private dance class together. We listened intently to his instructions…his accent alone made both of our juices flow. Since I am fluent in 3 languages I may have developed an ear for vocal intonations, therefore at times I had to translate what “el professor” was telling Kevin to do.
My close to orgasmic moment happened when he took me in his arms to describe what he was looking for from Kevin as a leader. Oooh, and what messages his hands were sending. Every touch was purposeful, focused and strong…can you picture what I’m talking about?
Then it was Kevin’s turn to dance with him…lucky poodle! It was priceless to see the same orgasmic expression on his face. Then, Walter Perez went to describe what he expected from me as the follower. His words were;
“The woman decides the speed in which he maneuvers you. You must tame him!”
Isn’t that an exquisite thought? Surrender to him, yet tame him…where have I heard that before? My vacation in Argentina flashed before my eyes.
I looked at Walter, gave him a coy smile and proceeded to dance with Kevin. This time I practiced what I preached…“fake it, till you believe it”. Play the part of the woman the director was asking me to be, use my resources and just do it.
As Kevin and I danced our last dance, we let ourselves go knowing we didn’t understand all the rules needed to create the master piece Walter wanted…however we were both willing to learn them, in the length of time needed.
So what does a gay man and a fruit fly do after a fierce dance class…unwind with afternoon cocktails and shopping!
We walked for 4 hours and insensible me was wearing 3 inch heels. We finally stopped at an outdoor park to rest our feet and make ourselves beautiful to prepare for our dinner rendez-vous at the Buddha Bar Restaurant! It was such a “Sex and the City” moment: I sat on a park bench, fixing my clothes, and putting on makeup while my gay friend paid me compliments, and then off we were to the posh restaurant.
(As a side note, I must emphasize the importance of having gay friends in your life. They’re honest, sensitive, entertaining and understand the value of great shoes!)
We met our friends at a very sexy, urban chic and seductive restaurant that was playing
fantastic music. (If you ever plan on hosting a party, you must have a Buddha Bar cd playing in the background). 
The evening started with cocktails. I ordered the “Moulin Rouge”. It was a mixture of several types of alcohol with a douse of crushed blueberries…ooh my! Once everyone arrived, we were seated at a round table facing a monumental black statue of a “Buddha”. We danced, ate and drank all evening. We even shared food to explore everyone’s choice of savory perceptions. In fact, we fed each other…so cool. It was a playground for 3 gay men, 2 fruit flies, and 1 straight man (he has a blue card that turns purple when he plays with us) to let go!
The reason I share this with you, is to remind you how a day of vacation can turn into a day of heightening your senses…and isn’t that what sensuality is all about. Exploring the sights, sounds, smells, palatable and tangibility of your environment. With the right people, you can surrender to a day of pleasures.
So, my intent for you is to plan 1 day of pleasure. That’s right…pleasure. How can you delve into all of your senses? Get a bunch of girlfriends and gay friends (if you have any) and have some harmless fun! You heard me…think about enjoying all of your senses. Take mental notes and feel the thrill of the moment. You spend most of your days working hard to keep up with demands of life, don’t forget to please yourself.
Be sure to let me know how your delightful, joyful and gratifying day went.
Sensually yours,
Patty
Topics: Good Times, Great People, Sensual | No Comments »
5 Sexy Little Secrets To Help You Flirt With Your Food
By admin | October 2, 2008
by Tera Warner of The Raw Divas
I admit to having seen a fair number of shocked expressions and embarrassed smiles while people watch me eat my food in public places. It doesn’t happen all the time, but if I’m REALLY hungry, and the fruit is REALLY tasty, then I lose myself in an explosion of sensations, perceptions, juicy vibrations and *moan* unavoidable squeaks and expressions of pleasure. I’ve written about it before, and you can see those little comments here:
Pornographic Produce…
The perfume of peaches…
I’d rather kiss a persimmon.
One woman actually said, “You sound like you are having an orgasm,” while I was eating a fresh fig.
Naturally, I blushed. She wasn’t far off from the truth.
Few things are sexier than someone who really knows how to eat her food–how to lose herself to the to the smells, textures, shapes, sensations and temperatures of a piece of fruit. And any man withing earshot and eye shot has got to be asking himself, if she eats a strawberry like THAT then…
Ahhh.. consumption is consumption. Losing yourself to the pleasures of food, of love and of life itself can only be a rewarding and sensually intoxicating experience. So here are a few tips to get you slipping into a new groove about your food.
The flavors, textures, juicy variety, and sweet, seductive, colorful charms of fresh fruit and vegetables are parallel to none. Let’s face it, chewing on a chicken bone just isn’t going to create the same effect as juicy, slippery mango slices. And who wants bacon grease on their body? But take a cool strawberry and tickle a trace along my spine—you won’t hear me complain.
*Is it getting hot in here, or is it me?*
1. Take your time
Slow and steady wins the race. It’s not sexy to horde and gobble food like a half-starved dog. Take your time. Make each piece feel like it’s the last piece you’ll ever have. Treasure it. Let it linger in your fingers, Girlfriend. Just the way you hold that piece of succulent melon will have his curiosity piqued! Feel the textures, the bumps, the coolness and moisture, then slowly savor every little nibble, while you…
2. Work it with the eye contact, Girlfriend!
While you nibble on that morsel of tasty, perfect food, let the flavors, textures, and delicate aromas be felt through your eyes! Do not underestimate your ability to totally mesmerize and grab a person’s attention with how you move your eyes! You know that look. Yeah! That look. Give him that one.
3. Use your body
Hold what you’re eating as if it were a delicate flower you don’t want to squish! If you hold it like an afterthought, you can’t possibly turn someone on with it. You’ve got to hold it like the delicate little jewel of nature that it is! Don’t grab it like a cheap apple, treat it like the seductive, sinfully delicious apple that it is.
I swear to you, one of the sexiest things I ever observed was another woman eating an apple! She totally took the time to hold it and wrap her lips around it before biting and tasting it with porn-star perfection, and as she nibbled, she would…
4. Squeak! Moan! Let it Go!
I mean, honestly, if you’re hungry enough, this will just happen automatically. Get into it, Girl! Enjoy it and let them see and HEAR how tasty that juicy raw food is! Giggle at how delicious it is. They won’t be able to ignore it when you do this!
Finally, bringing it in for the power-move:
5: Drip!
For heaven’s sake! That’s the sexiest part. The little drips that roll down your finger or face mean you get to smile an embarrassed little giggle, then clean up with the most obviously sensual, finger and tongue routine. Definitely drip, Darling!
So, I hope you enjoyed those little pointers. Why wait for the bedroom to lose yourself in sensual appreciation of life and love and YOU! Just keep on oozing that sensual charm and you’ll be turning heads and provoking grins wherever you go! Being sensual means you’re turned in and turned on by LIFE! So show it off! The world needs more people like you!
p.s.
If you’re needing a mojo booster, or feel like your senusual factor could be improved if you dropped a few inches around the middle, then try out this FREE 7 Day Detox for Women! (Oh YES! Men can take it, too!)
Topics: Guest bloggers, Sensual | No Comments »
Weekend Pleasures
By admin | September 23, 2008
Let me tell you about my weekend.
I attended a fundraiser for the Quebec Breakfast Club (an organization that helps children in need get a healthy start to their day) with my gay boyfriend…the guy who steps in when my real boyfriend can’t be present. The theme was “Breakfast in the Dark”. We ate breakfast style appetizers with exotic juices that could be taken straight up or with a shot of vodka…guess how I took them
I ate, drank, mingled and even won 2 prizes from the raffle! Both were tickets to see shows. One being the “Blue Man Group”, the other being the “Montreal Symphony Orchestra”. Wow…this never happens to me…I should have played the lottery that night.
The event was held in a two floor loft that had a very New York vibe. The place had concrete walls and ceilings all painted white with concrete floors “au naturel”. There was a black metal staircase that lead to the mezzanine and furniture that had very clean, simple edges. Instantly I wanted to analyze how I felt in this home. What feelings did this space arouse in me? Cool or warm? Safe or daring? Fun or boring? Mysterious or predictability? What did this person’s home say about him?
Have you ever stopped to think about what your home says about you?
When I moved into my loft, I needed it to represent me. My home had to be a reflection of my personality which had several layers. I am deep, structured, curious, lavish, complicated, uncomplicated, open, lustful, passionate, italian…just to name a few. So, when I first moved in, I purged the old, started fresh and returned to basic needs, gradually adding splashes of intrigue. And what has come out of decorating my home is a self-discovery into what I really needed to make me feel welcomed, comfortable and pleasured in my own space.
Which leads me to share with you my Sunday breakfast on my outdoor living area with my artist friend Dylan. After catching up over delicious egg, smoked salmon, avocado and nut bread canapes, I shared with him my need to have that splash of intrigue…a large and bold painting that represented the stage I was in at this present time of my life.
We had an engaging conversation about love, pain, men, women and how every situation performs a significant role in this play called “Life”. And how we should never amputate it’s experiences because it teaches us whatever lesson is needed in order to grow.
Could this be what living in the moment is simply about?
Nevertheless, there are urges that pull us in different directions from lust to tenderness or from focus to obscurity which tempt us daily. Followed by making a choice towards what is right or what is wrong. But then again who actually defines what is right or what is wrong….the conversation became quite complex.
So it was time to end the discussion knowing that we’ll never really know yet we’ll continue wondering. And accepting that the journey and how we choose to live it makes it all worth while.
We instantly went back to the reason we got together in the first place…to design the blueprint of my painting. Dylan put on his director hat and decided that my boyfriend and I were going to be models for the canvas. He and I went into my bedroom and looked at possible wardrobe, considered lighting and musical genre to entice the mood for the picture Dylan was going to take and ultimately use as an outline for the master piece!
I was elated at the thought of modeling with my partner for my own painting. I was given a role to play…that of a passionate lover while my friend watched and snapped pictures. What an attractive fantasy!
So there it was, the spontaneous opportunity that presented itself when I allowed my thirst for intrigue and sensuality to flourish.
Stay tuned everyone…I’ll keep you in touch with how it all turns out. In the meantime, take a good look at your home and your daily rituals. Feel and sense what is around you. Do you like what you see?
Sensually yours,
Patty
p.s.
Speaking of feeling good in your space, check out this program, put together by one of my girlfriends. If you look around your space and aren’t totally in love with what you see, or clutter keeps you from seeing it in the first place, then this is for you.
Topics: Good Times, Great People | No Comments »
First Steps to Being Open: Coffee Shop Seduction Tricks
By admin | September 10, 2008
Let me start by thanking everyone who read my first blog about my trip to Argentina. I received many responses from women that sent wonderful encouraging words. I feel excited to be back online with such great support!
Today’s blog is the first step to being open.
As I have been learning to accept myself, I’ve realized the importance to live life with an open heart. This has prompted me to shed one layer at a time of fear, judgment and guilt and in return I am living a more grateful existence. This has not come with ease, in fact it continues to fester in my brain because my biggest difficulty is balancing my left brain thinking of past equals future to right brain thinking of being in the present. To be able to indulge in the senses when there are daily pressures to achieve goals, meet deadlines and attend to needs of others feeds my logical mind.
So how do I feed my creative and emotional mind?
Well, one way has been turning daily rituals into situations where I can radiate! And I do this through my physical body. You see, being aware of my body language and the signals that is sends has helped me to embrace my body as a temple. I feel that the body and the spirit are directly linked and working on both helps you illuminate your beacon.
Here’s an example of a daily ritual…getting my morning coffee.
It starts with the moment I step out of my car. I open the door and deliberately place one leg out at a time making sure the effort of my exit is done gracefully. BTW, to turn up the volume, arch your back a little on the way up to standing position.
Now comes the all important walk to the coffee shop. I do my sultry walk (as described in my ebook). In a nutshell, lead from my hips (don’t lean forward from my chest), press my shoulder blades down (which automatically lifts my chest), be aware of the width and length of my stride (as if I am wearing a tight skirt that prevents me from keeping my legs too wide apart) and of course keep my eyes up.
As I wait in line at the coffee shop, I stand with sensual assurance (in others words 3rd feet position ballet, one knee bent while settling into my standing hip). Once I order the coffee, I smile, give direct eye contact, and end with a tilt on my head when I say “Thank you”.
I repeat the same process on the way back to my car…never know who is watching.
This may sound silly to some of you, but I truly believe that sensuality needs to felt from the inside out…however learned from the outside in.
If you can imagine and adopt the body language of the personality you want, you would be perceived as having that personality. You can choose to keep a cool, confident and sensual exterior. This doesn’t mean you ignore issues that make you feel shy and apprehensive, but by working on your outward appearance, you will gain a sense of confidence that generates an outward support system, nourishing you to become more secure.
Being sensual is a way of caring for all of you–the way you look, how you act and handle yourself, even how you feed your body…a way of embracing your needs both physically and emotionally. It is important to pay attention to your body because it is directly linked to your spirit and it knows the truth. I want you to think of the exercises that are in my book as a bridge to your spirit, they are tools to take care of yourself and your body.
I would love to have feedback from all of the women that tried the coffee shop scenario. Remember that it may take several tries (you now the saying “Rome was not built in a day”). Pay attention to the responses you might get from passers by. I appreciate even a smile…it makes me feel like I made a difference in someone’s day by making them smile.
Have a fun and sensual day!
Topics: Sensual | 2 Comments »
My trip to Argentina
By admin | August 21, 2008
Hello everyone,
To kick off my first blog, I wanted to tell you about my trip to Argentina. It was a combination of work and play.
During my 10 hour flight I finished reading a book called “Eat, Pray, Love”. I absolutely loved it! Some of you may have heard of it or read it. Well, the moment I arrived in Argentina, I decided to make my 5 day trip an “Eat, Pray, Love” journey. So here it is. Enjoy!
Argentina Day One
Hello everyone,
The moment I landed in Bueno Aires, my body welcomed the heat. I was craving for the sun’s rays to sooth my skin.
I went exploring around the city and tried to take in the sites, sounds and smells of the latin city. I’m staying in a district called Palermo considered to be the “little Italy”. Interestingly enough the simple task of walking was a challenge. I needed to keep my eyes towards the ground to watch where I stepped. The sidewalks are not maintained therefore very crooked (I must have tripped at every block). Once I adapted to the instability of the sidewalks, the next obstacle that became very consistent was dog poo! It seems there is no law for owners to pick up after their dogs.
My first stop along my walk was an Italian ice cream shop. I ordered not 1, not 2 but 3 scoops of ice cream! It tasted just as good as the one I ate in Italy. Very creamy and lots of calories.
As I continued to explore, I began to people watch…one of my favorite things to do. I noticed that an Argentinean doesn’t really have a specific look. There are all shades, all nationalities, a true melting pot of nations.
Then I began to watch the women. To my surprise, not many woman show their cleavage. I find that odd. When I was in Italy, every woman of any shape and size, was proud of her body and flaunted it. I wore a dress in the afternoon that exposed my assets…my cleavage…and I had so many men staring, honking their car horns even clapping. It was a little too much to handle, so I went home and added a tank top underneath the dress.
Emily, BoRyan (her brother) and I went out to dinner for pizza and champagne at a cute restaurant that had a balcony on the 2nd floor that overlooked the city. Food was good…service not so good. But still, very enjoyable.
Then Emily and I headed out to the old city to see and hear tango musicians. It was all I could have imagined. The club was dark and the only light was the candles on all of the wooden tables…it felt very seductive. We sat and watched the musicians play in such harmony on stage. The music seeped through my skin and an overwhelming sense of tragedy was felt. Could this be what Argentina was about? Almost like they are proud victims that have accepted their destiny.
As I continued to watch them play, I was captivated by their synchronicity. The leader was an older gentleman that played the bandoneon, the soul of tango music. He would be in a hypnotic state experiencing every emotional pain one could imagine.
At that moment Emily and I decided that our trip together should have a purpose…to comprehend the word that best described the pulse of Argentina!
Argentina Day Two
I woke up this morning and went out for my first cappucino, fruit salad and croissant (or media luna = half moon as they call it here). There are 2 types of croissants, with butter or with ___?__. I chose the one with __?__ because I assumed the word the woman used meant “less calories”. I found later that the missing word was LARD! This is what happens when one pretends to understand spanish.
While I sat outside and enjoyed the warm cappucino, a young man decides to start his diesel car. Shall I say that the black cloud that came out of his muffler added a tasty and toxic frosting over my fruit salad. Strangely, my discomfort was not shared by others. No one else seemed to have minded the fumes that rested over our meals.
By the afternoon, Emily and I headed off to where the Cosmotango convention would be happening. To my disappointment, my intermediate classes were full, which meant I couldn’t attend. But, Emily and I are determined to come back tomorrow and check out other tango schools.
We decided to stop for food at a cafe. It resembled a diner which felt out of place in such a European city. We ordered a huge beer and a salad. That’s right…I drank beer. And to my surprise, it went down like water. At the end of our meal, Emily went to the washroom and on her way, a man handed her a note. A few minutes later, she came out of the washroom, went towards the gentleman, thanked him, came towards me and gestured for us to leave. The moment we stepped out, Em was like a school girl needing to show me the “note” from a boy in class.
The note read: “You both beautiful girls. May the USA invade Argentina withy soldiers just like you. Enjoy Bueno Aires.” He ended with his email address.
The note was enough to shoot our confidence through the roof. For the rest of the day we had a skip in our walk.
Our next stop was an outdoor fair that was situated in an area where there were a lot of antique shops. We did round 1 of the fair just to take a glance at the merchandise. Round 2 we bought our first item…purses made of cow hide, which required some bargaining (thanks to Emily). Round 3, I bought leather belts…this woman didn’t budge on price but they were too nice to simply walk away from. Round 4, I was supposed to buy a bracelet, but to know avail, the man wouldn’t budge on price, so this time we walked away. Then we headed towards the outdoor cafe to watch a tango performance instead.
Later that evening, we went back to Palermo, dropped off our things and walked about 40 minutes to Recoleta…a very “shee shee, pooh pooh” district in Argentina. There were so many ice cream shops along the way that resisting them remained to be futile…so we ate dessert first, sirloin stake later.
Tomorrow’s goal…to finally dance tango!
Argentina Day Three
The morning started with the usual ritual…cappucino and a media luna (this time with butter). Emily and I were trying to rest our feet from hours of walking the night before. When it was time to head out for tango class, I put on my dress and fancy flip flops. My feet had blisters, so any kind of shoe was a painful experience…unless I wore running shoes. Emily convinced me to wear running shoes…with my dress! I fought with her on this idea because it was just not right to wear running shoes with a dress. She insisted that it was a common practice in Argentina….really? I allowed myself to go against every fashion god…moi wearing a dress with running shoes…gosh!
The moment we stepped outside I felt dreadful. To avoid being scene in public, we hopped into a cab and headed for the tango class. The moment we arrived at the studio, I took off my running shoes and put on my dancing shoes…thank god!
I signed up for an INT/ADV class. Obviously, there were too many women so the men had to be shared. My first partner was the oldest, shortest with dyed hair man in the class. To make matters worse, the moment the music started, we embraced…and he turned into a bull! He lead everything from his head…guess where that put his face…in my breasts! (Last time I wore a v-neck to class). All I could do was hold on tight and anxiously wait for the next partner change, which only happened 1 hour and 15 minutes into the lesson. The last 15 minutes I had the privilege to dance with an assistant. Needless to say, my first tango class experience…not good. BTW, Emily had a worse experience. She’s a 5’11” blond…her partner…5’2”. Where were all the tall men?
To make ourselves feel better, we went out on the town dressed up wearing heels…I wouldn’t have any other way. Our first stop…a wine shop. There was a sign outside that read, “Wine tasting available. Cost 50 pesos” (less than 20USD). We jumped at the opportunity to release our tension from the day of bad tango partners.
The 2 gentlemen sat us on bar stools and proceeded to place the empty wine glasses on our table. Before we began our tasting, one of them explained the process of wine tasting. He said in a spanish accent, “It’s like meeting someone for the first time, we make decisions based on first impressions and the first sense we use is our sight. Everyone has a different opinion on what our eyes prefer. There is no right or wrong…only what You prefer.”
He started by pouring us some white wine. He then spread a white cloth on the table and proceeded to demonstrate the color against the white cloth. “As the light hits the glass, you can see if there are rays of green or orange. Green rays indicate the wine is young, orange rays indicate the wine is older”. He then swirled the wine in the glass and talked about the next aspect of sight. “If the wine has many tears then it has high a alcohol content”.
The next sense we used was smell. “When you get close enough to someone, you smell him/her to see if it excites another part of you”. He then took out a chart that illustrated 150 aromas. Em and I immediately wanted to buy it. It would look so good in my kitchen. Although his was not for sale.
And finally he talked about taste. “The taste of someone…well need I say more”. He talked about the different taste buds in our mouths. Where we taste the sweetness, the acidity, the bitterness, etc. At this point I’m feeling a little moist…nothing like fine wine followed by poetry to make a woman feel nice
At long last, we drank. We continued this analysis with every bottle…a total of 4 to be exact. They brought us cheese, cold cuts, olives, bread, nuts and great conversation. The entire tasting lasted a good 4 hours. Can you imagine the condition Em and I were in. We left the store and bought a total of 8 bottles of wine. The cost of this event…140USD. This included both the tasting and the 8 bottles of wine. I say that was a great deal!
We stumbled and giggled all the way home. I took a 1 hour nap because I was going to a milonga with a taxi dancer that I hired for the night. A taxi dancer is a professional that dances with you for as long as you want. The cost is 25USD per hour and it’s a minimum of 3 hours. It’s a great way to guarantee a partner that will dance with you all night.
I arrived at the club and he was waiting for me in a nice suit. His name was Hugo from Patagonia (southern part of Argentina). He was very respectful and was good at maintaining small talk. As the went on I felt frustrated because I wanted him to do more dance moves with me, but he kept things very simple. All he would say when we danced is “In order to dance the tango you must be relaxed and feel…just relax and feel”. Sure, that was easy for him to say. The most frustrating thing about this dance is that there are subtle rules that have many possibilities depending upon the music and the dancer.
I can admit that it is not easy to surrender to that idea. Maybe this is why I’m in Argentina…to learn to surrender. Humm?
Argentina Day Four
After my milonga last night, I decided to search for a teacher that would give me private lessons. No more short, beginners for me! I did send an SOS to my argentine tango teacher in Montreal for help on possible teachers that were good in this city. Em searched online and found a place that had a teacher available, the cost 120 pesos for 1.5 hours (about 40USD). It was a cheap risk.
I arrived at the studio, which turned out to be a cafe that had a dance floor in the middle surrounded by tables. Luckily the place was empty. The last thing I wanted was to be entertainment for people while they had lunch. Moments later, my teacher showed up. It was a short, petit woman!
I tried to stay open minded and just allow the lesson to flow. Well, to my surprise she was a good teacher and a good leader. It felt a little awkward in close embrace with her. She kept reminding me of the role of the woman within the embrace…”be slow, relax and patient because he must wait for you to finish your move…no hurry…slow down.” Ok, ok…I think I got the message. She was a sweet and passionate teacher.
I decided to discover the city before heading home. There are so many people and so many cars…like NY city in the summer…sticky, smelly and toxic. I think I’ll need to detoxify when I get home.
I’ve also learned to take the “subte” (subway) in Bueno Aires. It’s faster than a taxi and avoids all the traffic (which happens all day long). When I do take a cab ride, I’ve also learned to avoid looking straight ahead. See, cab drivers here are all frustrated formula 1 wanna be drivers. Picture streets filled with little black and yellow cars that are weaving around trying not only to get to the finish line but to intimidate some drivers along the way. I sometimes try to have a conversation in hopes of slowing him down…no chance. So, I just looked at the shops as they wooshed by to avoid my teeth from grinding in fear.
I also spent some time with “la famiglia” that I have here. They welcomed me in their home and introduced me to all of my distant cousins. They were warm and actually began to pet me in awe, surprised to see such a “linda” (pretty) cousin from Canada. We ate, drank and talked in a mixture of spanish, italian and english. What a true immigrant family is all about.
Argentina Day Five
After breakfast I went for my 3rd private class with Orlando Farias. He’s an excellent teacher that has been able to balance feel with technique…my kind of teacher. I’ve progressed nicely with him. The metaphors he uses create good pictures for me to understand what he’d like for me to do. I feel like I’ve graduated from elementary school and ready to go to high school of Argentine tango.
I then stopped at Neo Tango shoe store. They had a tremendous amount of styles. I tried everything from the simple to the outrageous. Naturally I could not decide which one I preferred…so I bought 3 pair. One to satisfy every occasion.
Since this was my last night in Bueno Aires, Emily and I dressed up and went to dine at a nice restaurant. She found a great spot that had comfortable couches nestled in every corner with colorful pillows. We’ve gotten into the habit of ordering food that we can share..aren’t we cute.
Tonight’s choice was beef carpaccio with arugula and parmesan cheese. Followed by roasted lamb with spinach stuffed pastry and risotto…delicious! After our delightful conversation about men, woman, love and life, we had a liquor coffee outside of the restaurant on comfortable couches.
As I sipped my Calipso coffee (Tia Maria, coffee, and crema), Em and I continued our in depth conversation about the word that describes the pulse of Argentina. We agreed that there is a sense of tragedy but Argentineans live for the moment. They don’t plan, they don’t save…they surrender. Could this be the word? I know it has been my lesson during my trip.
What are they surrendering to…pleasure, circumstances of life, the embrace of tango, inflation, gelato, emotions?
There’s an intensity in Argentineans which is very evident when they dance. During my last milonga night in Bueno Aires, I was drawn to the intense focus that a woman described it to me like this: “You must give the man your chest as he gives his chest to you, because for that one song you are sharing your soul. Once the song is over, you decide to close or not…your choice. But…during the dance there is only 1 option…surrender.”
It was impressive to see people of all ages going through this experience of giving their soul to the music and the dance. In fact, most women have their eyes closed when they are in the embrace. Once the song is over, all the couples stop look at each other and have a conversation during the intro of the new song. After a few bars of music, there is a short interlude of a different style of music where there is a partner change.
I could have watched this ritual all night. The “regard” as we say in french, was intense, deep, authentic. This is something that is not as evident in the ballroom or even salsa world. I look forward to feeling that when I dance the tango.
I know I returned to Montreal with a more mature understanding of the dance…connected to the music and it’s message…surrender. The real lesson comes when I learn to surrender to love and life on a daily basis. Time will reveal that answer.
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